I will NEVER run another marathon (well... maybe I will)

On Sunday, at the 32 km mark, I was thinking to myself, “I am a stupid ass. These marathons are stupid. The Boston Marathon is probably extra stupid. It’s the stupidest marathon of them all and I didn’t really want to do it anyway. Ironman was an idiot of an idea. I suppose I will have to do Ironman just so I don’t have to embarrass myself by quitting. Wait! I know. I can bob around in the lake for two hours and miss the swim cutoff and then I will not have to do the bike and run. Brilliant! Dog it for Ironman and then NEVER DO ANOTHER MARATHON AGAIN.”

On Monday night I registered for the Victoria Marathon on October 10, 2010.

I have a REALLY short memory. Uffda.

I have shifted my focus, though. I have revised my thinking about Ironman. On Sunday at the post-marathon tears and beers I realized something: I have not enjoyed a race in two years.

This has to change.

I do NOT want to set an aggressive goal for Ironman, miss it, and then be unhappy with my Ironman race. I am next to certain that I only have one Ironman in me. I am doing Ironman for the motivation and challenge it provides. (and to get the tattoo and boast about it for the rest of my life). I do NOT want to finish the race on Aug 29 and be angry or disappointed because I didn’t make my goal time. So, it’s official – I HAVE NO TIME GOAL AT IRONMAN. My time is now irrelevant to me.

Here is my goal: I want to feel like I am racing (even though I am not). I do not want to walk the marathon. I want to swim strong and easy, bike strong and easy, and run the marathon (some walk/run will be fine). A specific time is now irrelevant to me. I will be proud of finishing. I do not want any part of this experience to be a disappointment. I want to do my best to enjoy the day.

I guess my time will be between 12 and 14 hours. My specific prediction is SWIM 1:35, BIKE 6:45, RUN 4:45. I dream of being sub-12 hours and I think it’s possible. But, if I come across at 11:59 pm after 16 hours and 59 minutes, I will be thrilled.

So, why register for the Victoria Marathon? I figure that the strongest, fittest moment of my life will be 6:59 am, August 29, 2010 – in the moments before the starting cannon at Ironman Canada. I do want to run the Boston Marathon. If I wait for the Vegas Marathon (Dec 5) then I will probably not get in to the Boston Marathon for 2011 since this year it sold out in November. I do not want to extend that these goals into 2012. I don’t think my hips will last that long.

So… I will be running the Victoria Marathon on October 10th. I am registered. Once qualified for Boston I will stop all training and try to set the Boston course record for “Fastest Man over 300 pounds with arthritic hips.”

I will still be going to Las Vegas to support my friends who will be running. I will probably even run in Las Vegas. Or, I may simply be annoying drunken pizza guy trying to find someone to share martinis and pizza at 4:30 am just 2 ½ hours before race start.